Bandage my Heart
by Writey-Ikko
Summary: Jamie is your average, 30 year old male living with his sister in a peaceful Colorado neighbourhood. When he gets into a fight with his sibling, he ends up at the infamous Mount Massive asylum by chance during a walk. This is what happens when he decides to choose the less than sane option of entering. Rated M for swearing, gore, sexual content and disturbing imagery
1. Chapter 1

**Welp, here's a fanfiction. I saw a lot of people in the Outlast fandom doing this but not many for Trager. So here I am venting my feelings. Heh. **

**I promise it gets at least a little better after this chapter. **

**Also this is an AU where Father Martin didn't decide to one-up Jesus-in other words not burning down the whole facility. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything, the music mentioned, the characters, Mount Massive etc-I only own Jamie, Kyle, Fred and Jamie's sister. Also Jamie is 30, if that matters any.**

**Rated M for swearing, gore, sexual content, disturbing imagery-all the fun stuff **

* * *

Trager jerked awake to a world of pain. Searing pain moved through his veins, every inch of his being screaming bloody murder. It all came back to him. The runaway, the chase, the elevator. How was he still _alive_?

He wasn't complaining but it would be nice if he could move. Just as that thought fabricated, the elevator started lifting off his broken spine and he began to hear voices behind him. He heard a click of what was probably a gun and figured in this situation, it was probably best to play possum.

His all too alive body was tugged away by the feet cautiously before being dumped for inspection. He was rudely prodded by guns and shoes as they muttered amongst themselves. Looks like he played a pretty good corpse if what they were saying was correct.

They eventually left and he gulped in air as if it were water, spluttering a little. Just as he was lifting himself, he heard creeping footsteps behind him and he craned his neck to see a limping blond, looking frightened and mentally scarred. "What'dya want, buddy?" He croaked out.

That seemed to do the trick as he limped the other way as fast as his feet could carry him. Huh, he looked familiar. No time for reminiscing-he had to get into hiding before those pests came back and prodded him some more.

He needed to find somewhat of a splint or brace for his back. That or he had to just lie down until it healed. Surely the thing would heal wrong anyway. What he wasn't counting on was the nanomachines in his system swiftly repairing the bone as he limped around the male ward in search of a knife or something to protect himself with.

He eventually found a pair of identical shears in a supply closet. Who even made these? The things were brand new, reflecting light and everything. Giving them an experimental snip, the metal grating to make a sound he very much enjoyed, he surveyed the area. Painfully bare of patients. He'd just have to go find them.

* * *

Jamie slammed the door, huffing. Tears of anger were pricking at his eyes as he stomped off, away from the house he shared with his sister.

They'd had a fight again over some menial thing. Jamie took initiative and took a walk. He wasn't planning on stopping, at least-the fresh air of his neighbourhood doing wonders. It was probably a bad idea to go wandering as night was fast approaching, reports of strange people around these days.

He took a forest path, using his torch to light the way. In deep thought for a good hour or so, running into a fence came as a surprise. It was a rather tall fence, and beyond it was more than impressive. A huge building, like a cathedral-completely imposing and terrifying in its own right.

He wasn't known for being the most sane of travellers, so when the question of going into the building or leaving came about, of course he picked entering. It had the distinct feeling of being life-changing. Hopefully empty also.

First was getting over the fence. He tried scaling it but decided it was too tall, and for good reason. The thing was _huge_ compared to little old Jamie. It was when he stepped more to the middle that a sensor must've gone off and the gate opened, creaking forebodingly.

Jamie entered the premises with caution and excitement. After ducking under a few broken fences, he found a way up into a window and took it, having to switch on his flashlight to navigate the dark room. The sight of what looked like blood further through the hall connecting to the room would have made any sane man turn back.

He found the red goop to be maybe a party prop and leant in to smell it, registering the coppery scent as indeed a good gimmick or real blood. _I should turn back. _Deciding one more room couldn't hurt, he opened the door and immediately slipped on a puddle of blood on the floor, knocking himself out.

Waking up, Jamie registered one of two things. The smell of decay and the fact that he was somewhere else. Also that his head rang painfully as he sat up, surveying the area with his flashlight. It was completely unfamiliar. Some sort of basement maybe?

He reached for his phone to realise he hadn't brought it along stupidly. It probably would have gone flat, knowing his luck. Now who brought him here? Wasn't this place empty?

A door slamming in the distance had him at his feet, alert. He rushed to a dark corner of the room when fast footsteps were headed his way, hiding. "Oh dear, she seems to have run off. Pretty girl..where could you have gone~?"

They left soon after, singing 'pretty woman' at the top of their lungs. Jamie was a little ticked off at being called a lady but otherwise unaffected, getting it all the time. He'd rather stick to his 'no-gender policy', not that anyone even got that these days.

Deciding it had been enough fooling around in the empty room, he cautiously left, taking steady, quiet steps down the hall. "Pretty woman." It had been right by his ear and he had never run so fast in his life.

Why did he have to be wearing these shoes? His feet were already killing him. He came to a desk blocking the way and halted in his running, panicking. Maybe if he had used enough momentum, he could've leapt over it? The footsteps were gaining on him so he just climbed over it and kept running.

He eventually came to a large gap in the floor and took no time doubting himself, leaping over it and barely making it, having to pull himself up. He was pretty sure he ripped his shirt and grazed his hip in the process but he was _alive_ and never more grateful to be so.

He sighed in relief and sat there for a few moments, catching his breath. Had that man have caught him, he probably would have been made a girlfriend for life. He could think of worse but he was starting to piece together what this place was.

When he was a boy, his mother had told him tales of an insane asylum called 'Mount Massive'. Thinking back, it probably wasn't the type of stories you'd tell your 5 year old child but his mother had always been a bit loopy.

Back to his current predicament, he looked around the place and found a sign above labelled 'Male Ward'. Well, his theory was correct-he got himself trapped in a mental institution. He was trapped in a loony bin where the inmates appeared to have escaped.

He decided to venture forth, finding the grated door to be ajar, swinging it open easily. Trepidation crawled down his spine when he stupidly slammed it behind him from habit. The habit came from his childhood. Something about making noise to let people know you were there-something he did _not_ want to do right now.

Listening was the course of action he took for a few moments, fiddling with his fingers while he waited. When nothing appeared to be jumping out at him any time soon, he tiptoed on, looking this way and that for an exit. Strangely, batteries seemed to be sitting in the most peculiar places like sitting on random piles of the viscera he had long since gotten over feeling disgusted about.

Part of him remained to think this to be some practical joke so nothing really _bothered_ him about the random body parts lying around. It was more the crazies running around slamming doors that kept him on edge.

Eventually he came across a familiar humming coming from behind a door. He started taking quiet steps forward, planning on leaving the guy behind but curiousity got the better of him. He opened the door slightly and peered in, finding his jaw nearly hitting the floor in wonderment and fear.

Life sized 'dolls' lined every wall, porcelain bodies smeared in blood and cracks. They were dressed rather well, as if someone took the time to make intricate clothing for each of them. The room smelt like something had died over and over again before decaying in a hot climate. He reacted immediately by leaping back, making noise unintentionally to alert the person inside.

As expected, the humming stopped and steady footsteps approached the door. Jamie froze up as the door swung open to reveal a navy tuxedo-wearing man with messy blond locks. He looked like he hadn't slept a wink for a century-or shaved for a few days if the three-day-growth had anything to say about it.

A pleasant smile adorned his face and he stepped forward. "Ahh, pretty lady. So nice of you to join me. Come, let us sit inside and speak." Jamie's heart clenched painfully when the man brushed a hand along his cheek, dragging it down gently.

When Jamie didn't seem too keen on coming in, the man stepped back and bowed apologetically. "My manners, they seem to elude me. Fred Cullen, and you, dear? Such a pretty woman." He cooed, running painfully peaceful fingers through red strands.

Jamie swallowed nervously. "I..I'm not.." As soon as his voice registered, a vein in Fred's head popped. "You're..Never mind, I can always change you! To think I finally would have the process easy." Every word he spoke seemed to rise an octave. "Come, let us perfect you!"

Shaking his head rapidly, Jamie finally ran off with a sneering Fred in hot pursuit. Survival instincts kicked in and he expertly leapt over desks and obstacles, fearing for his life. He had things to do yet-people to kiss, exams to pass, jobs to succeed in. He couldn't lose it yet.

He should have been shining his flashlight at the ground as he ran for this next misstep changed his life forever. The floor collapsed and he landed on his stomach after hitting his head on hanging debris, ribs cracking painfully. Groaning, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cold tile floor. "Heh. I don't even need to go looking. They just drop from the sky."

At the fairly amused voice, Jamie looked around the room groggily to see an emaciated corpse..standing up? Maybe he was hallucinating from hitting his head too hard. The corpse chuckled and moved forward, picking the red-haired man from the floor and over his shoulder.

They had moved for what seemed to be a fair while, Jamie's face being smooshed into the man's back. He smelt like death and decay, an unpleasant mixture. "Here we are." He was placed on a wheelchair with wrists and ankles strapped in. The man leaned back, looking quite pleased with himself. "Ah, manners." He tsked. "My name is _Doctor_ Richard Trager. Nice to meet you, buddy." The way he emphasised 'doctor' made it clear that that was what he wished to be called, doctor or not.

Jamie swallowed again, struggling a little in his bonds. When the man explored his choices on a tray full of nasty looking torture devices, Jamie closed his eyes and thought why on earth he had come here in the first place.


	2. Chapter 2

"You know, it gets quite..lonely in these parts." Trager arched his spine, stretching it. Jamie was sure he heard a hiss of pain and vaguely wondered if the man had done himself in or something. Man, not corpse he had established. What had made this man look so..dead? Something had definitely gone on in this place. Experimentation just like in those horror movies he had seen?

The man took a sharp inhale of breath through his teeth before speaking again. "It gets..infuriatingly lonely. The things a man would do for a decent conversation, am I right or am I right?" He picked up a butchers knife and studied it in the light. "You look like the type to hold a good one. The old two martini lunch minus the martinis, you know? So.." Inhale. "Let's talk."

Jamie had always studied people's speech patterns as something to do and this was no different. Was the inhaling a form of irritation? The man gave off a somewhat irritated vibe so maybe. So lost in his thoughts, Trager had to pat his cheek a few times to get his attention again. "_Bud. _You know most people don't like being ignored. I'm no exception."

Trager turned to walk back over to his tray and Jamie got a good view of his bare ass, coughing politely. He shouldn't have been surprised, really. The doctor paid him no heed, grabbing a pair of pliers off the tray and walking back over. Fear was back in the red-head's eyes before he could say "well shit". "Now now, no need to look like I'm gonna cut your head off." He perched himself of Jamie's lap casually. "So what's a lady like you doing in these parts? You're certainly not from here. Not since.." He chuckled a bit more and adjusted his glasses.

Jamie stayed the mute, averting his eyes. "No? Well, there's this trick I learned recently to make people sing. Maybe I'll try that." He seemed to ponder his decision, stroking his chin as if a warning to Jamie to start talking or he'd rip his eye out of his socket or something. Mustering the most gender-neutral voice he could make, Jamie mumbled, "You could..if you wanted your deteriorated ear drums to burst, old man." He sneered.

There was silence, filled in with only the breathing of the two people in the room before Trager forcefully opened Jamie's jaw and ripped a molar out with his pliers. "Smart mouth you have there, girl. Allow me to clean it for you." He sounded more than ticked off about being called old.

Jamie sobbed in pain as a canine was ripped from his bleeding mouth, bile rising in his throat. He managed to swallow it back down but couldn't help the blood spilling out of his mouth, coating his clothes and Trager's apron.

Removing one more molar, the man hopped off Jamie's lap, dropping the pearly whites on the tray containing his devices. "You know why I do this? When I get out of here, these things'll sell for_ gold_ on the black market." A battery operated razor was picked up. "I'm afraid that can't be all of your donations. See this pretty hair you have here for instance."

Call the man vain, but he was more afraid about losing something that would tamper with his appearance than his teeth. He frantically shook his head, leaning away from the razor and the hand painfully gripping his hair. Despite his best efforts, it happened anyway. Lock after lock of hair fell from his head and onto the floor, the razor being used carelessly and nicking his scalp more than once.

He was soon completely bald, staring at his reflection in the mirror above the sink in despair. This man would never know how long it took him to grow this hair and style it every day to perfection. Now it was gone. "Embrace the bald, buddy. At least yours will grow back."

A little more enraged struggling proved to loosen up one of the hand straps. Delighted, Jamie waited until the man would be out of the room before attempting anything. He took in his surroundings finally. A bathroom surrounded him, dirty urinals lining the wall. Were those..giant scissors in one?

He supressed a shudder, subconsciously licking his three new empty sockets. "Have you ever been married?" The question completely caught Jamie off guard, biting his tongue accidentally. "Don't get me wrong, you look more in your 30s. But I see no ring. Is it your vain disposition? Your rude, disrespectful attitude?" Those giant scissors from before were picked up. "You know, I've never been a _priest,_" He spat the word as if it were poison. "But I could wed you and I."

He waltzed over in what seemed to be a cheerful manner, humming the traditional wedding tune. "Here's to us, Groom and Bride. Together for eternity. Bla bla." The scissors were around Jamie's left ring finger before he knew it and pressed together at a rapid rate. Just before it reached the bone, Jamie had the chance to yell a "wait!", halting the scissor's movements. "I can..help you!" He huffed frantically, wishing to keep something to his name before the man started hacking off his fingers too.

Trager let out an inquisitive sound, encouraging Jamie to go on. "I don't know what you're doing here, Mr Trager but-" He screamed as the finger was cut clean off. Trager looked furious. "_Doctor_! That's _doctor_ you ingrate!" He shouted. "But I think I'll take you up on your offer, bud." His mood shifted so drastically, even Jamie was confused despite the burning in his whole arm.

Jamie was let out of his bindings so fast he had to wonder why anyone would just let out someone they tortured. "If you disobey my orders, it'll mean a world of pain. Ok then, time to get you patched up, darlin'."

A short time later, Jamie's hand was cleaned and bandaged and he was sitting on one of the dirty mattresses of the place, waiting for his new overseer to finish whatever he was doing. He was just told to wait.

Trager came in a while later with a container in hand, utensils in the other. Jamie soon smelt the food and his stomach growled loudly. He hid his face in his hands in embarrassment. "Aww, buddy. No need to hide."

Eating with the other man was one of the most awkward experiences Jamie had ever had. He just kept staring at him, watching him eat. Surely it was another form of torture. Jamie cleared his throat. "Do you..uhh..want some?"

Trager shook his scarred head in negative, tapping his fingers together in his lap. "That used to be mine, you know. Before all this." He gestured widely to everything before resting his hands in their previous position. "Was looking forward to eating it too."

This just made things more awkward as the meal was finished off. "And that is?" He asked through the last mouthful of chicken curry, continuing to use the voice from before to humour Trager's expectations of him.

The man raised an eyebrow in his direction, mumbling something about him 'really being new here'. "You familiar with the term 'morphogenesis' or anything similar? No?" Jamie looked on blankly. "I'll put it in layman's terms for you. The people here, my people, were running experiments on the patients of this asylum. They were using a machine called the 'morphogenic engine' to summon a mass nanomite cloud called the Walrider. As it were, your good pal Rick here was shoved into one and turned into what you see today. Should've reconsidered my hiding places for all those bodies.." He stroked his chin in thought.

"_Bodies?" _Jamie asked incredulously before he could stop himself. Not just one either. So this guy was a mass murderer too? He had to get the hell out of that place as soon as possible before he became a statistic on the man's chart.

The words from before that came back to him and he honestly couldn't be surprised that there was any sort of experimentation going on here. But by the sounds of it, Rick's own people turned on him? That was messed up.

Trager looked on in amusement and casually felt Jamie's fuzzy scalp. "Had to cut costs, as it were. Anyhoo, you must be tired. There's plenty to do in the morning so best head off, eh?" Apparently the man actually believed Jamie wouldn't just grab a weapon of some sort and do him in while sleeping as he sauntered over to a bed and flopped himself on it, removing his spectacles from his worn face. He was right as Jamie didn't have the fight in his blood.

Jamie waited until he heard even breathing before rushing over to the door of the room, finding it chained and padlocked. Cursing, he frantically looked around for a key before giving up a long while after. He was hoping for an escape from this madman.

_Actually, _Jamie thought to himself while he curled up on one of the beds far from the other. _I could use this guy as protection. _He was soon dozing off into a fitful sleep after staring at the cracked tiles for an extended period of time. He knew not much would come of him sleeping, the man seeming keen on keeping him around for whatever batshit crazy he was doing here.

"Rise and shine, darlin'!" Jamie heard that singsong voice right in his ear and jumped awake, almost flailing and hitting Trager in the face. He blinked wearily, piecing together where he was and what he was doing here. He was honestly hoping to wake up a complete person in his own bed, having just had a horrible nightmare. No such luck.

To prevent any outbursts of anger, Jamie jumped up from the bed and stood less than confidently, waiting for instructions. Trager slapped him on the back, rolling his eyes playfully. "Chin up, darlin'. We've got work to do."

Jamie followed behind the man like a puppy with its tail between its legs. Despite the man's friendly nature, he'd seen what he could do and it _terrified_ him. He still missed his now missing belongings, his tongue automatically feeling his empty sockets every once and a while to remind him not to become too comfortable. He'd run when he could. Preferably when the 'doctor' wasn't equipped with bone shears. The way he grated them together every once and a while made Jamie's skin crawl in the worst way.

They eventually arrived in a room full of beds. Each bed was filled with..Jamie swallowed. Mutilated patients. Trepidation ran his blood cold in realisation that this could have been him if he hadn't spoken up. "Now, as my assistant, you'll be aiding my work. The thing I do here, as a certified doctor, is study the human body. It's an interesting set of clockworks." He spoke almost fondly as he studied a man in front of him.

The man spat insults as Trager adjusted the Ilizarov apparatus on his leg in a careless manner. "Sh sh sh. Be a man, buddy." The man looked at Jamie in a pleading manner before it turned lustful, waggling his eyebrows at him. Jamie looked on in a mix of condolence and self-pity at being treated in such a way. Trager was on it in a flash, completely severing the man's arm from his body. "I'll have you know that she happens to be _my _assistant." He spat over the man's screaming wails.

Jamie was slightly flattered as Trager walked off in a huff to the next patient, not used to people sticking up for him, even if it was _him _of all people. His next thought consisted of his lack of proper response to someone's limb being cut off right in front of him, or rather, actually having the gall to be _flattered _by it. Maybe this place was getting to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Jamie was sweating in disgust and fear, his hands covered in dried blood. Trager had insisted he take a further look into his work by doing something hands-on. The trade-off was being able to keep his hands.

He'd been told to get his hands into a man's intestinal system whilst still alive to check for signs of abnormalities. Of course, the patient died of blood loss soon anyway. Jamie was left scarred for life, having nearly lost his earlier dinner on the floor. Trager seemed pleased, at least, ruffling the imaginary hair on the boy's head in praise. He called it a 'learning experience'.

Now they were walking to god knows where Trager was taking him, walking on rather decrepit floorboards down a hall that looked no better. Jamie felt flashbacks from before come back to him and eyed the ground he walked on cautiously. God forbid he fall into yet another torturer's grasp.

Luck was yet again not on his side as he misstepped again and fell through a level, landing on his side. Trager peered through the above floor to where the he had fallen and barked out a short laugh when he saw he wasn't any worse for wear. "Heavier than you look! Hang right there for me." He shouted down, probably drawing the attention of anyone in a 50 mile radius, not that it bothered the man with giant scissors any.

Jamie picked himself up, feeling his rib shift again painfully. It was strange how safe he felt with the other man and hadn't even realised, now feeling completely bare to anyone that might want to harm him.

He should wait for his 'bodyguard' to come back but he was finally free. No more hands-on examinations. Who knows, with some looking around he might even find a way out of here.

He stuck close to the walls, unable to see in pitch darkness, tripping over things on the floor every once in a while. Moving along one of the doors, he didn't realise it was open, falling straight through it into a dimly lit room.

Panicking when he heard breathing other than his own, his body went into overdrive, throwing himself to his feet and backing up. If he thought Trager looked bad, he was pretty sure this guy looked like hell itself. His appearance was more human but that was what made him more unnerving, Jamie thought. His sunken eyes and non-existent lips gave off an undead sort of feel, the only humanly sort of feature was the receding mop of chestnut hair on his head. "Kyle."

Jamie blinked, trying to calm his nerves when it seemed that this man wouldn't hurt him. "K-Kyle?" The man known as Kyle nodded slowly, as if trying to teach a toddler his name. "Yeah, numbskull. It's called a name. I'm sure you have one too?" He inquired, his permanently bared teeth giving him a pissed off look to contradict his slow, calm words.

Kyle's disfigured arm and leg suddenly became very apparent to the red-headed man when they shifted irritably. "Jamie. Kyle..you look like someone I can trust. I just need a way out of this place." Kyle laughed, an ugly sound that rang through the room.

"A way out, huh? Try finding a pipe and hitting yourself in the head a couple of times, that should do the trick." Jamie looked on in disbelief. "Don't look at me like that. There's only one way out, kid." He tapped his fingers on the bench he was sitting on.

Arms suddenly wrapped around Jamie's waist, a pair of bone shears held up to his throat menacingly. His heart dropped. "Sorry to interrupt you ladies, but I'll be taking my secretary now." A hum of surprise left his throat as he rested his chin on Jamie's tensed up shoulder. "Kyle, buddy! So this is where you ran off to. My little runaway." He cooed mockingly.

Kyle looked about ready to throttle the man, sunken eyes narrowing menacingly. "Oh yeah, so funny. You think I forgot about these, you _prick_?!" He gestured to his deformities and stood abruptly. Trager hurried Jamie out of the room and shut and locked the door from the outside while Kyle screamed in rage, slamming himself against it.

"Tough crowd." Trager tried to look innocent, rubbing the back of his neck. Jamie glared but said nothing, collecting the pieces of what type of a man he really was, as if it weren't obvious enough. A few deep carnal desires inside the man stirred suddenly and he blanched. He wasn't going to take inspiration from this.._murderer_. Sure he thought about killing, everyone does, but he would never actually act on the matter.

The door to Kyle's cell gave way suddenly and he ran at the two before tripping on his bung leg, making Trager laugh. "Oh wow, bud. That was good heroics." He clapped slowly for Kyle, wrapping an arm around Jamie's shoulders and leading him out. Kyle called out after them. "You know that man is no good! He'll tear you apart!"

Jamie bit his lip, knowing full well that he was right. It was only a matter of time. He missed Trager rolling his eyes, mockingly mouthing his words.

Jamie had been left to his own devices as soon as they arrived back. Of course, the doors to the ward were chained as an extra precaution but otherwise he was free to wander. The patients still posed a threat as they could escape at any time, but Jamie was given a pipe. It was dead weight, really. If it came to it, he was sure he'd chicken out and run.

He'd made double rounds of the ward before he became a little bored so he went to seek out his nightmare for something to do. There was one door that was shut that he hadn't been brave enough to open-that was where he was sure the man was.

Leaning his head against it, he heard rough sketching noises and became a little delighted at the discovery. So the man had an artistic side? Either that or he was doing something involving his doctor delusion. The door was suddenly opened and he fell against a broad chest, straightening up immediately. "Heh. Bored, eh darlin'?" He stepped aside, offering for a red faced Jamie to enter.

The doctor sat back at his desk, continuing his sketching. Jamie peered over his shoulder and saw a beautifully intricate sketch of inside a human abdomen. He had to say he was impressed. He'd always liked and appreciated art-something he'd never been able to manage.

He pulled up a chair and watched him draw for quite a while, the lone noises of pen on paper lulling him into a state of relaxation he hadn't felt since he came here. He must have dozed off as the next thing he knew, he was being carried to a bed and laid to rest.

It wasn't until later in the night that he woke up, freezing his ass off. He attempted to turn this way and that, even warming his hands up but nothing worked. The shivers wracking his body wouldn't let him rest.

He looked around for a blanket or something to warm up with but found nothing. His teeth must have chattered too loudly or the bed betrayed him for Trager was grumbling from the other side of the room tiredly in reaction to being woken up. "What is it, buddy?" He slurred.

Jamie was a little worried that he woke up on the wrong side of the bed when he used the term 'buddy' instead of his usual pet name but wandered over to his bedside all the same, rubbing his arm as if he had done something wrong. "'m c-cold."

The silence that followed had Jamie shaking for completely different reasons until he was pulled down next to Trager, wrapped up in his arms. Jamie's face heated up in embarrassment. "Before you think anythin', darlin', it's just sharin' body heat." He was still slurring tiredly, tucking Jamie's head under his chin. His arms were like vices as Jamie soon learned.

Steadily, the heat shared helped calm Jamie's shivers and he sighed gratefully, warming up to being held like a lover a little. He'd never really had a lover in his life, maybe the one crush he had when he was 8 but that wasn't to be taken seriously. It's not like he didn't have the charisma, it's just most people turned away when they learned he actually had a dick. The people that caught he was a guy just didn't like him that way. Too much of the same thing just made him uninterested in it all and he stopped looking. He was getting beside the point here though.

Even _if_ he was into psycho murderers, Trager would be exactly the same and turn him away. Everyone was the same. He fell into a better sleep than the night before but still had a guilty conscience.

Jamie was in the wheelchair again, strapped down by the wrists and ankles. He had an awful sense of déjà vu as he gazed around tiredly, seeing no one in the room. Struggling proved nothing as the bindings were tight and unbreakable. He could see his reflection-he had his hair still. A glance down to his fingers. All 10.

The door opened and in walked Trager, humming a cheery tune. "Thanks for attending your consultation. It'll begin in just a moment," He leaned in to coo in Jamie's ear. "Dar~lin'~" Jamie shuddered a bit at the tone, wondering why things were getting so freaky. He couldn't remember what he was doing before he woke up.

The humming continued as the man washed his hands, grating on Jamie's nerves a bit, feeling like he was being mocked. He struggled again futilely . "So jumpy, darlin'. You'll get attention in just a moment, be patient." Jamie thought all this torture business was over. Trust was even starting to be built with the man before him before this.

A piece of hair dropped into Jamie's eye and he blinked furiously, breaking whatever mood was being set. This was one thing he didn't miss about hair. Trager brushed it back up kindly, grabbing his bone shears. "See, I've been thinking about things these days. We've been growing close, haven't we. Heh, I might have even taken a liking to you. There's no ring but there are other ways to make you mine. I'll make it quick." Jamie was starting to think this whole deal sounded like a corny porn plot.

The bone shears were positioned around Jamie's ring finger and forced closed quickly, the intense pain sending tingles of pleasure down Jamie's spine, making him whimper loudly. He stared wide eyed into the distance. Since when had he been a massive masochist? Trager smirked and ran his long nails down Jamie's chest. Since when was he _naked_? "Didn't know you liked losing fingers so much." He chuckled, stroking Jamie's half hard member.

He leaned down and took Jamie's bleeding nub into his mouth, sucking it none-too-gently and pushing his tongue into it. The utter _sting_ of it was turning Jamie on more than it should have and he could see Trager was getting into it too. The utter fucked up-ness of the whole thing _would _turn that madman on, Jamie thought humourlessly.

It was when the man _bit down _that he cried out, getting extremely close. It was like a bad joke-a hand job gone wrong. He lost it when he started tearing more off his nub and dug his nail into his slit, waking up to an empty bed and wet pants.

Jamie looked disdainfully at his crotch, wondering if there was a bathroom around in which he could clean up before the man himself saw him. Just the thought of him made his stomach clench.


	4. Chapter 4

Jamie skulked around the halls of the male ward, head buzzing. He kept hearing a static-like noise reverberating in his skull. It was slightly agitating so far.

He was trying to avoid the older man seeing him like this but as it were, he was in Trager's ward. "'Mornin' darlin'." Jamie's stomach did flips at the man's voice. True to his apparent touchy feely disposition, he caught up and wrapped an arm around Jamie's shoulders, feeling the stubble on his head. "Why do you do that?"

Trager didn't stop, humming in question. "_That_." He pointed to the action going on on his head and the older man made an 'ooh' before smirking playfully. "It feels cool." He said simply before dragging Jamie off by the arm. The man's grip was cold and strong, applying a bit too much pressure that Jamie chalked down to not realising he was doing it.

They ended up in a bathroom. Jamie's face flushed and he looked everywhere but the other's face, crossing his legs the slightest bit. "Oh, don't be like that. It happens to the best of us. Your clothes, dar~lin'." He held out his hand and something in Jamie's head clicked. Wait.

"You..don't care." He dropped his fake voice, surprising himself with how deep it actually was. Trager continued to give him an expectant look, however, and he turned, stripping himself down reluctantly. Covering his junk, he handed his clothes over before facing a wall, swearing he saw Trager admire his unclothed body-though that could have been leftover wet dream haze.

He heard water running and Trager whistling. Jamie blinked, realising this guy was always humming or whistling. Happy guy, maybe?

Abruptly, someone started bashing down the door and Trager huffed, grabbing his shears from the sink. "Your clothes are done. Wait here." He growled, going after whoever was stupid enough to think they could stand a chance against him, slamming the door behind him.

A foreboding feeling settled over the room and Jamie hurried to change into his soaking clothes, hiding in a locker. Call him daft, but he just _felt_ like something was about to happen. Nothing did for a good while, not a soul coming into the room for a good 10 minutes. Jamie started to worry for his protector, wringing out his clothes repetitively.

The door flew open and in entered a few inmates, horribly disfigured in their own ways. "Check the lockers. Our little 'flower' must be in here somewhere." _Shit._ Jamie cursed in his head, realising the patients were formerly Trager's and were out to get him. Probably out of spite for not saving them.

The static had gotten worse over time and was blaring in Jamie's head, making it hard to think. They were checking each locker in order. It was only a matter of time before they reached Jamie's .

His locker door opened. "Hello, flower." He was knocked into unconsciousness.

"Rise and shine, Jamie." Jamie opened his eyes groggily, realising in surprise that no, he wasn't bound in any way. His head felt like a truck had hit it, and he held it as he took in his surroundings. He could barely see it was so dark. "You can smell it, can't you?"

All Jamie could smell was decay as he felt around, his hand hitting something warm. Recoiling instantly, a lamp was switched on, hurting his eyes. "I bet you're hungry, Jamie." The man speaking was revealed to be Kyle, his bared teeth shining in the dim light. There was a fresh, headless corpse at Jamie's knees. Jamie began to piece it together and looked horrified. "I'm not a cannibal!"

Kyle chuckled, tapping his fingers on his knee. "You have the static, don't you? Of course you are. See, there's different degrees of the insanity you see here. But the two very basics are cannibal or vegetarian." Jamie was disgraced to find his stomach indeed wanting nothing more than meat-raw meat to be exact. "Oh, don't look at me as if I'm the cause of this."

His brain practically screamed at him to eat it, the static joining in to make utterly discorded music. "Where's doctor Trager?" He put on his most demanding tone, half expecting him to pop out of nowhere with a 'right here, darlin''. Kyle's posture went rigid and he stood, kicking the corpse forward with a bare foot. "_Eat_!" He shouted, losing his temper at the mention of his former tormentor.

Jamie, scared and helpless, did the only thing he could in that situation-he ate. He dug his remaining teeth into the stomach of the corpse, ripping a chunk of flesh from it and swallowing hard. His cravings screamed in delight and the static even seemed to ease off a bit but he felt disgusted with himself. Practically sobbing, he continued to eat until he was full, much to the satisfaction of Kyle.

Left with a bloody mouth and a full stomach, Jamie realised how much anxiety being away from the mad doctor was causing him. He made the static disappear. He kept him protected. He _needed_ him. He wasn't sure of where this separation anxiety had come from. "Kyle..can I leave now?" He whined pathetically, feeling sick now from what he had just consumed and the amount of it.

Kyle looked up at him and scowled. "You want to be with that _shithead_, be my guest. Don't expect any more help from me." He got up and left the room, leaving a sick Jamie to navigate his way around the unfamiliar place. No, this _was_ familiar. From when he had escaped that doll guy. He almost wanted to call Kyle back to protect his sorry ass.

Sticking to the shadows seemed like the best option, until he found Trager or a way out. Clinging to his sore head, he decided he had to get his priorities straight. Finding a way out came _instead _of finding Trager. He was wandering for a long time, seeing not a soul thankfully, the cramps easing up with time until he came across _the _room again. Learning from his mistakes, he kept going quickly only to be caught by the hand. He swore.

"Beautiful man. Oh, whatever happened to your wonderful hair?" He seemed genuinely upset, stroking Jamie's hand gently. Jamie squeezed his eyes shut and hoped for better days. "I apologise for snapping earlier. It was vulgar of me and I promise never to repeat such an uncouth action. But you came back-to give me a second chance, yes? Oh, how wonderful!" He probably would have clapped if his hands weren't keeping Jamie in place.

If Jamie had learned anything from Trager, it was to be polite yet dreadfully honest in rough situations. "I'm not your doll, buddy." He nearly planted his face into his hand at how strange the term sounded coming from his lips but it was exciting nonetheless. Fred looked a little let down at that before perking up again. "Oh, but you will be. We'll be the best of friends, you and I. Now come, no time to dawdle."

Jamie was pulled into the last room on the planet he would ever want to enter, senses going into overdrive as he nearly puked. He was sat in the traditional wheelchair and strapped in and he had to wonder if everyone in this place just had one big meeting and decided the best device to put hostages in was a wheelchair. This whole deal reminded him a bit about his first run in with Trager. Jamie clenched his teeth. Was he dead?

As if a great artist, Fred studied his 'paintbrush', actually a small, sharp looking kitchen knife, before stepping forward with a polite skip in his step. "I'll walk you through this process, darling." Jamie narrowed his eyes at the similarities of the pet name, not appreciating them. "First, I must undress you." He sliced Jamie's clothes down the middle and Jamie huffed. _These were just cleaned, bastard. _Of course he was angry about the fact that Trager went to effort to clean them and not the fact he was about to die painfully.

He'd rather think about Trager while he died, anyway. He was more a buddy than anything, puns not intended. He let his mind run with flashbacks about his life, family, the older man who he very much wished would be here to save his ass right now, while Fred finished cutting through the tough fabric of his jeans.

He was soon completely naked, exposed to the room of dolls. A doll blinked, he swore it. "Next we skin the victim to make way for the new flesh." Jamie let loose a tirade of _oh god_s and _fuck_s in his head as the man reached for a pallet knife and positioned it on Jamie's cheek. "So nervous looking. Hush, it'll be over in a jiffy." And he slammed the pallet knife down, lodging it under the skin of Jamie's cheek. Jamie, who was quite obviously screaming in excruciating pain, struggled for his life as the skin of his cheek was peeled away from his face and cut off.

With half his cheek in bloody shambles, Jamie barely registered a pair of bone shears suddenly stabbed through Fred's stomach, intestines poking out with it. He passed out before he could see any more.

White. Grainy white was all he could see. Correction, he had only opened one eye. He touched his face to feel what was on it, and instantly recoiled in pain. "Ah ah, darlin'. No touching allowed." That beautiful, wonderful voice filled his head and he leapt up to bury his face in a surprised Trager's neck, wrapping him in a tight embrace. Trager awkwardly pat his back. "It's unusual that anyone's ever happy to see me." He mused.

Jamie broke down, tears coating the man's neck as he hiccupped and sobbed, the fear and pain he had felt all working into one big ball. "S-sorry." He mumbled, pulling back before the older man tugged him back to his previous position. "It's alright to be scared."

The two stayed like that for a while, enjoying eachothers closeness until Jamie pulled back and looked Trager in the eye truthfully. "Thank you. You saved my-" His words were cut off by a mouth over his own, Trager having pulled his mask off while Jamie was speaking. Jamie was having extremely mixed feelings about this, unsure of what he even felt for the other man. Trager pulled back before he could decide. "'Thank you's are such a bore. I've been waiting a while for that anyway."

He turned to slip his mask back on like nothing even happened, leaving the room. To say Jamie was confused would be an understatement. It didn't look like Trager was coming back any time soon so was he..unimpressed? It wouldn't have been the most comfortable of kisses, half his face bandaged and all.

His mind raced with endless possibilities, lying down while he thought. Sleeping sounded good at that moment-an end to the pain he felt, frankly, _everywhere_. So he slept.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been going on for a few hours-maybe even a day. At first, Jamie had caught up with Trager after he woke up but the older responded with nothing more than curt suggestions that he should take a break because of his injuries before disappearing again.

It was after trying to get him to talk to him that Trager started being less courteous and acting more like a hormonal teenager, raising his voice and slamming doors. Jamie didn't know what he had done wrong but he was out of commission for the moment due to half his face having to be bandaged. It was disorientating. Not to mention the safest place for him in the asylum was here with the older man.

He started seeing the man less and less, his meals being left on his bed on planks of wood (of which he suspected was bits of human he had taken from his patients-how he found out about his strict meat diet was a mystery). At least, he had been getting used to human meat. The sickness was fading with each time he ate it.

The static was back in full force. It was literally driving him insane-on more than one occasion clawing at his mattress in pain. He'd torn it, even. He'd be scratching at the walls if he ever left his bed, only ever leaving for bathroom breaks.

It'd been two days since the kiss, he was fairly certain. He'd mapped out each and every crack in this room, counted every bed, every window, every _object_ thrice. He could only escape to his head so much. The man hadn't even shown his face to check up on Jamie's cheek, although he was unsure of whether it needed constant care or not.

He was becoming lethargic. He'd literally just lie in bed all day and stare at the ceiling. He should at least stay fit. But why should he be bothered? He'd be trapped here for eternity.

Sleep was steadily becoming his best friend. Depression, you say?

It was during his third day that a miraculous thing happened. The door opened and in walked Trager with some fresh meat in hand. Seeing Jamie, he nearly backed out and Jamie just sighed, not having the motivation for much else than eating and staring. "..Darlin', this was meant to be for your own good."

Jamie sat up, sighing. "How?" He asked, hiding any interest he may have had. The older man deposited the meat on a probably dirty slab of wood, placing it at Jamie's feet. "Relationships with..people older than you get painful in the end." Things clicked together. It's not like he never thought Trager could be considerate it just..

Trager reached out, feeling Jamie's scalp. "It's growing back." He said matter-of-factly. Well of course it was.

The red head couldn't argue with the man's statement but they were too far in to change anything. He said as much and Trager shrugged. "Eat. You'll need your energy if that's how you want it to be." Flushing at the implications, Jamie ate his meal in silence, long since used to the slimy texture of the stuff.

The wood was soon tossed to the other side of the room, the man's spectacles and mask taken off. "You have a chance to back out here, darlin'." Jamie just shook his head, coming to terms with the fact that this man was who he needed. He was a little nervous. The rope around Trager's apron was undone and the bloody fabric fell to the floor less than gracefully, revealing the man's front for the first time. Jamie's eyes widened slightly. This was going to hurt.

Trager reclined them against the bed until he was on top of a very naked Jamie whose clothes had long since been gone. He started slow, placing his lips against Jamie's, who got more teeth than lips but he wasn't complaining.

It was a slow process-they weren't rowdy teenagers and they had plenty of time. Trager seemed to like to leave marks of possession everywhere on the man beneath him, growling a quiet '_mine_' into his ear at least once. Jamie seemed to like receiving them, if his quiet gasps and 'ah's were anything to say about it.

The older man was much more gentle than he'd expected him to be, treating Jamie with care as if he'd crumble beneath his bony fingers. Hands were feeling down his sides and up his legs, moving them to cling around the man's lower back before reaching a hand down to bring their needy members together, stroking them. The older man exhaled slightly but made no further noise, peppering kisses and nips up Jamie's pale neck.

Soon enough, Jamie was bucking into the hand, creating more friction against them both. Being a virgin to these things made it a shock to his system to be touched this way. It was like an itch he could never scratch on his own.

The pleasure kept doubling as time went on and his untrained body soon felt like it was going to burst but he wasn't sure if the other man wanted to carry on or not. "D-doctor..I uhh.." It was a lot more awkward to say than he expected but the way Trager pulled away told him that he understood.

Trager sat himself between Jamie's legs, spreading them around his hips. He admired the man for a second with blurred vision-nothing new really, his glasses were cracked anyway-and wet three fingers lewdly before easing one into Jamie's entrance. It wasn't painful like he had imagined it, just very odd.

Another finger was added and they started thrusting slowly, scissoring and stretching. For a reason unknown to Jamie, he saw white for a moment as pleasure spiked in his lower spine. Trager chuckled deviously and kept brushing the spot, bringing the man teetering over the edge.

It stopped before he could release, being replaced with something far larger in an instant. He wasn't knowledgeable in this subject but he was pretty certain only the tip had entered. It already stung but by that stage he had built a large pain tolerance, easing himself further down to take more of it in, surprising the man above him. "Eager, are we?"

Jamie nodded before hiding his eyes under his arm shamefully. The older man chuckled and removed it gently, kissing the man's showing eyelid, placing his hands on either side of him to hover above him. A slow rhythm was started, Jamie clinging to the man as they rocked.

Jamie was sweating at the stimulation, feeling hot all over as he warmed up to the friction inside him. It may have been a smoother ride with some lube but they couldn't have everything. It was when Trager purposefully angled his thrusts to hit that spot inside the red haired man that he lost it, muscles contracting as he leaked onto his own stomach. Swearing at the contractions, the older man sped up his thrusts, the friction causing the tired boy below him to whine at the overstimulation. He spent the next five minutes doing so until he found his own climax, shamelessly coming into the man.

Trager's shaky arms gave up and he lowered himself onto Jamie, pecking his lips once before pulling out, some of his seed spilling out as he did so. Jamie shuddered at the feeling, finding it a bit gross for his liking. They lay in eachother's arms for a few moments until the door was thrown open, a patient gawking at what he came in on. "I-I was sent to tell the flower that she's free to leave. We found a way out!" He screamed in joy and ran off, probably to jump out the window in his joy.

A way out? Trager was scowling now, probably thinking that the red head would just up and leave without him, climbing off him to get dressed. Jamie inched himself up, feeling pain shooting up his spine and an unfamiliar feeling of his limbs feeling like jelly in consistency. "Wait."

The older man was already turning to leave and Jamie pushed himself off the bed, clinging to his arm, finding his legs shaking under him. "I said to wait! I'm not leaving without you. Let's leave this place-together!" He was basically pleading but wasn't against the idea if it meant having the man by his side.

He got a blank look before his non-existent hair was ruffled. "Nah, you don't need old Rick by your side. Go on, run free." His tone was melancholic. Jamie shook his head in desperation, clinging tighter. "You..You make the static go away. You just took my _virginity _for Pete's sake! You can't leave me now."

There was a sigh. Trager pat his head and eased him back onto the bed, expression unreadable. "Wait here." He walked off, Jamie obeying. In the minutes that followed, Jamie tried to brush his stomach clean but found it had dried already, much to his disdain. He tapped his fingers, studied his half healed nub, felt his head (wow, that _did_ feel cool), tried to ignore the static blaring in his skull until he got a little paranoid. Possibilities filled his brain and he clicked his tongue nervously.

A check to the clock said it had been a good 15 minutes since the man had left. What if..what if _that_ happened again? What if he left him here to rot, going off to live a happy life outside the asylum? He bit his fingernails before realising that probably wasn't the most sanitary thing to be doing.

His worries washed away when Trager re-entered the room, messenger bag on his shoulder and a large, leaking garbage bag in hand. "Had to collect my belongings." He offered to a stressed Jamie, offering his hand. "Don't give me that look. We're practically married, anyhoo." A gesture to his missing ring finger. Jamie took the hand and was led through the halls, the older man somehow knowing exactly where to go.

They stepped outside the front doors and Jamie got the first breath of fresh air since he came here. No decay, no musty smell, just pure oxygen. He sighed blissfully and found the other staring expectantly at him. "Oh. My house is an hour's walk from here." A random patient came running out the doors and past them, screaming in joy.

The walk was silent, both enjoying the fresh environment of the forest and something other than decay under their feet. Jamie was nervous that his sister would be home and see him naked and covered in hickeys, walking next to what looked like a living corpse.

Luck was _finally _on his side as her car wasn't in the driveway. They entered through a window and Jamie's feet carried him directly to the bathroom and to the shower, stroking the glass door lovingly while an amused Trager watched on. He turned it on to the right temperature and jumped in, careful to not get his face too wet when he squirted out shampoo and realised dumbly that he didn't have hair.

Washing the liquid off his hand, he grabbed the soap and cleaned himself over at least three times until he was clean, moving over to scrub his teeth with his toothbrush when the water was shut off. He nearly moaned at the taste of something other than bloody meat. He was fairly certain his teeth were stained red as he continued scrubbing in vain with no improvement. It'd probably fade over time.

He heard running water from behind him and craned his head, seeing Trager washing off too. He smiled a bit, glad the man wouldn't smell like three day old sweat any more.

The feeling of dry, clean clothes on his body made him ecstatic. There was a box of old hand-me-downs from his father that he'd never fit into and he grabbed them down, throwing them onto the bed that he very much wished to snuggle into right now. The older man walked into the room with his hair in a ponytail but otherwise naked. He had to wonder where he put all his doctor accessories.

Soon, he'd fished out a plain white dress shirt and dark slacks, as well as a pair of his own underwear that probably would fit. He filled the box to the brim with most of the clothes he wore while the other dressed, grabbing his keys and dumping the box in his boot. Next came essentials like his toiletries, bedding and a few cans of food from his cupboards. The meat wouldn't last so he left that. Trager helped out once he was dressed, Jamie having to take a moment to gather himself after seeing the man actually clothed.

Jamie had a plan. He wrote his sister a note saying not to look for him and that he was safe and apologised for the fight. They drove for an hour at least, leaving behind Jamie's old neighbourhood for an abandoned apartment building on the outskirts of town. That way they could be safe from the scrutiny of other people.

Trager broke into the door, and they entered, seeing the building no worse for wear. It was a little musty but that could be dealt with. The electricity and water didn't work, unfortunately but Jamie knew to trust that gleam in his partner's eyes.

They picked a room at the top floor, overlooking the mountains and forest.

"H-hello?" The lobby door was opened and in walked a younger looking man with sickly pale skin. Jamie greeted him from the reception desk, red hair falling half way down his forehead, cheek scar covered by ludicrous amounts of makeup. "Hello, here for your check-up, Mr Campbell? Room 103. Please excuse the mess." Jamie was surprised people even came at the offer of a cheap check-up in an apartment building.

The place was done up to look like a hospital or doctors surgery of sorts since Trager sold his old house and actually managed to get his body parts on the black market without anything bad coming of it, buying the place with the money he made and renovating it. They now had water and electricity to boot.

So Jamie worked as the secretary for this 'business', also being the one to get groceries at Trager's order, being the most capable of being somewhat _normal _looking of the two. Trager? Jamie rested his chin on his four fingered hand as screams echoed the halls, sighing dreamily. He was practicing biology like he always wanted.


End file.
